When to have sex

Wait until your lochia (vaginal discharge) has stopped flowing and your vagina is healed. This takes 2 to 6 weeks. Sex should not hurt. If it does, you may not be totally healed. Try again at a later time.

Dry or sore vagina

Your vagina may be more dry than usual while you are breastfeeding. To increase wetness and help your vagina relax:

n       Spend more time on foreplay - bathe, give backrubs, listen to music, talk.

n       Put water-based lubricant on the penis or at the opening to your vagina (K-Y jelly, Slippery Stuff). Do not use oil-based products like Vaseline.

n       Try different positions to see which feel most comfortable. A side-by-side position where you face your partner takes some pressure off the vagina.

Breastmilk may spray out when you have an orgasm. This is normal.

Changes in sex drive

Many couples notice changes in their pattern of love-making because:

n       Baby needs attention day and night at unpredictable times.

n       You are tired and your moods are different.

Take advantage of moments when you feel rested and sexual and baby is asleep. It may be a different time than you usually make love; enjoy the change. Tiredness does go away as your baby gets older and you get more rest. Do what feels right to you and your partner.

Ways to feel close in addition to sexual intercourse

It is important to keep your feelings of love and closeness to your partner while you are adjusting to having a baby. Here are some ways to show love and affection for your partner.

n       Cuddle

n       Hold hands

n       Talk

n       Kiss

n       Touch and massage

Breasts - sexual pleasure or feeding?

Couples often notice changes in their feelings about the breasts. Many women feel sexual stimulation during breastfeeding. This is common and normal. Questions to talk over:

n       Are breasts for sexual pleasure or just for feeding the baby?

n       Is it OK to breastfeed in public or in front of friends and family?

n       Who do the breasts "belong to" - you, your partner or the baby?

n       There are no right or wrong answers. It's up to you.